I wrote this about 5 months ago, way before I even thought of starting a blog. It’s lived in my Gmail draft box until now. The thoughts came to me one morning as I was nursing Jack. I was, and still am, completely overwhelmed by the emotions that come over me whenever I’m with him.
I never used to crave physical closeness
Now I ache to hold you when you’re not in my arms.
The feeling of skin on skin used to make me uncomfortable
Now the touch of your skin is one of the sweetest things.
I’m still tightly wound, emotional and selfish,
But now I’m patient, tough, and self-sacrificing.
The moment you were born, you changed me,
And being your mom has brought out the best in me.
I knew everything would change when I became a mother. I really had no idea just how much that was true.
I love who I am as a mother. I feel like I have more purpose now than ever. I want to be better, not only for Jack, but for Ryan, and for myself. To know someone loves and needs me reminds me of the worth I have, and I deserve to be a better version of myself.
Thank you, Jack. Thank you for coming into our world over 8 months ago and changing me for the better.